The Illusion of Rejection
What’s your flavour? My favourite crisps are salt and vinegar. I’m not exactly sure why but it might be because they are salty and tangy and tickle my taste buds. Each crisp has a slightly different mix of salt and vinegar and so I find them interesting and exciting to eat! Now I also like ready salted, but not so much. They’re salty and tasty but after a while each crisp begins to taste the same. I guess they are supposed to be plain, but I soon find each bite boring. But I can’t stand cheese and onion crisps at all! I can’t even tolerate being around people who have eaten them. The smell of them is revolting to me, so I avoid them at all cost. That of course, is just my opinion and I’m sure you may or not may not agree with me.
Back at university I split up from my long-term boyfriend of three years. Very soon I became lonely. He was no longer interested in me and I was heartbroken. I reassured myself that I could now be free to spread my wings and explore the world. But soon, I started looking for a new partner, and faced a few rejections.I doubted myself. I screamed to myself:
“Why don’t you like me?”…
“What have I done wrong?...
“How can I change?”
I thought are my breasts were too small? I wondered if my bum was too big. I went round and round in circles until I lost myself. And my self esteem and confidence just went lower, lower and lower. Then I had an epiphany! One day a guy came swaggering over to me:
Him: Myrah – I’m going to rock your world.
Me: I don’t think so.
Him: I’m going to give you the sun, moon and stars.
Me: I don’t think so.
Him: I’m going to make you love me.
Me: I don’t think so.
But after a few weeks I saw him and he stumbled over to me and said:
“Why don’t you like me?”…
“What have I done wrong?”…
“How can I change?”…
“You make me feel rejected and my heart is broken.”
I explained:
“It’s not you, it’s me”…
“You haven’t done anything wrong”…
“There is nothing you can do to change.”…
“I’m sorry, you’re just not my type.”
He just wasn’t my flavour. What you have to remember about feeling rejected, is that not everyone has the same taste. You just might not be their flavour. Don’t doubt your flavour or try to change your flavour either. Just be patient and wait for opportunity to meet someone who likes you for who you are, and you can like them back for who they are. It’s not personal; their choices don’t define you, any more than your choices define them. Because we all have a favourite flavour, don’t we? And everybody else has their favourite flavour, don’t they? So embrace your flavour, and love your flavour.
Recently, I attended an INHI/SNLP course run by the Eric Moore, Norman Hinks and Naomi Tammi Palmer (find them on facebook). In one of their talks, they shared a message that makes perfect sense, and seems to be a great way to conclude...
“Be YOU to the full - because that is when you are most beautiful”
Myrah Duckworth
Life Coach, Reiki Healer, Author, Motivational Speaker, Inspirational Quote Writer and Teacher
Myrah has many attributes and qualities, covering a host of areas. She specialises in education, special needs and disabilities, challenging behaviour, confidence, self esteem, issues relating to women, children, young people and ethnic minorities. Myrah make use of spirituality where this feels appropriate and helpful. She runs regular sessions at Solihull Well Being Clinic
